Online Poker Tips for Losers

roulette table in casino close-up

If you are a poker newbie and are contemplating to make your card playing debut in an online poker room just for the heck of it, you may want to heed the following online poker tips that are guaranteed to establish you as a consistent loser in online poker rooms.

Never take practice hands on your kitchen table; or attempt to learn rudimentary strategies in online poker schools and hone your pathetic skills in poker freerolls because you can always barge into a high-stakes game online. Poker tips like these will establish your name in poker rooms as a high-rolling online poker player fit to rub elbows with players who are way beyond your skill level. After all, it is more worthwhile to lose a lot of your hard earned money learning from the pros than gaining knowledge for free in online poker schools and freerolls.

Play multiple hands because the pressure and the fast pace will force you to think. Never mind if you get confused and lose your bankroll in a jiffy – you could always log on the next day and try again. When a player heckles you, don’t let it slide because it is perfectly alright to lose your temper and return the favor by launching a profane outburst. If you get chat revoked or banned from the website, at least you’ve told him off. There is no need for you to worry following valuable online poker tips like these because there are lots and lots of other poker rooms floating online out there that are eagerly waiting for you to log on and share them your money.

If the poker room offers you the choice between a four-color deck and the traditional two color deck of card, choose the traditional two-color deck. A four-color deck is unnecessary because a newbie like you will never misread your hand and commit the stupid mistake of thinking that you have a flush when in fact you do not. One of the best online poker tips for you to boost your sagging image is to imitate the card sharp you saw yesterday on television. Understanding the complexities of the game and how to make intelligent decisions for yourself at the table are less important than aping debonair 007 playing no limits Texas Hold’em poker in the remake of Casino Royale.

Go ahead and wear your lucky socks and lucky shirt when you play poker online. Poker tips are better when combined with luck. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being superstitious. All forms of gambling involve Lady Luck, so you might as well throw good strategy and caution out the window and leave everything to chance. What ever happens, never study the betting patterns of your unseen online opponents or take note of their online poker tells because even if you can see them, their body language would not mean much to you just the same. Take heed because these killer online poker tips are guaranteed to catapult you right on top of the online roster of incredibly obtuse poker players the online world has never known.


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